Getting out of this funk!
This is really hard for me to talk about but I know I need to get it out there to help myself and maybe someone else who reads this.
I thought I was doing really well shortly after TJ was diagnosed. I had stopped crying in the car (or whenever I was alone) and I was just dealing with issues that arose on a daily (or minutely) basis without freaking out.
I have been really tired over the last few months (I know totally expected with a 5 month old). But this was beyond tired. I had started working out but couldn’t get past day 2 without falling asleep on the couch while feeding Gabriel before workout time. I couldn’t (or wouldn’t) stop myself from eating anything sweet that got in my path. After 2 weeks of trying, i gave up on exercising altogether.
About 2 weeks ago I had a realization. I realized these things could be symptoms of something bigger. I had fought with depression a couple times in the past, never anything really major, just a general sadness and tired, not really wanting to do things (even fun things). I always just came out of these “funks” without meds (I did try meds once but they didn’t do anything for me so I stopped taking them rather than going in for a different Rx) or therapy, just time and prayer.
Last week I added a new symptom to my list, weepiness. I’ve been crying at the drop of a hat, no matter how hard I try to hold the tears back.
I obviously have every reason to go into a depression, my life reads like a country song lately: Had a baby (not that that’s sad but it can cause depression), my 3 year old diagnosed with diabetes, our dog died, and we’re poor (still haven’t received a full paycheck since my maternity leave—Junes’ should be though! J).
Now that I know what’s going on it’s time that I act! No, I don’t plan to go see a doctor and get on anti-depressants (yet). I’m going to make some changes first and if that doesn’t work I will probably try that route. As a nursing mom drugs kind of scare me, how they would affect Gabriel.
Here’s my plan:
- Starting to take and extra Iron supplement (maybe I’m a little anemic and that’s part of why I’m so tired)
- Start watching what I’m eating, counting calories and giving up alcohol and sweets (or at least cutting way back on them)
- Exercise 6 nights a week, no more falling asleep on the couch.
- Start praying more frequently and trying to let go of what I can’t change, leaving it in God’s hands.
- Reevaluate in a couple weeks and see if I need to go see a Dr. or make some more changes.
I do know that I am very blessed. I have a wonderful husband and TJ has been so easy through most of his life changes. Even Gabriel mellowed out shortly after TJs diagnosis (although not enough to sleep through the night). 😉 I also have an amazing group of family and friends who have been so supportive of me and my family through all our drama this year and you are all greatly appreciated!
Having written all this in stone (or blog) 😉 I’ve already started counting calories (today was my first day) and I managed to avoid all the sweets in the break room. J Even the chocolate cake that was brought in! J And now I’m going to go do about an hour long cardio workout (get those endorphins pumping!).
Sorry this post isn’t as fun or picture filled as my previous posts 😉 I promise to write about something more up-beat next time. J And keep you posted on how I’m doing. J
- Posted in: Type 1 Diabetes issues